Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MSTing no. 28. Sorry this has taken so long, but we've both been *very* busy, and it's just plain annoyingly long. And dull. Did I mention dull? Bubblegum Shift is copyright Brett Handy (Darkwind) who couldn't come up with a more generic fanfic if he tried. Bubblegum Crisis is copyright Artmic/Youmex. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side.] [Dan and Rick enter] Dan: So, you saw them. What did you think? Rick: Well, to be honest I was far from impressed. I mean, Blonde Nene? And Linna looked terrible. But I guess the worst of them was Sylia. Dan: Well, I'll admit it's a new look for her... Rick: Thar's an understement. Long, flowing, wavy light blue hair? Very pale skin? Willowy figure? No way. Sylia should look hard and business- like. Not like Ifurita. Dan: And what's wrong with looking like Ifurita? Rick: Nothing wrong with the design. It's just that it's totally inaprorpiate for the character. [Rebecca and Tsuneo enter] Rebecca: But it makes for a pretty cool joke, given all the "Sylia is a boomer" crap that has proliferated over the years. And who do they model her on? Ifurita, a robotic demon. Rick: I did't think of that. Rebecca: You don't think of much. Rick: Hey! Dan: [Sniggers] Tsuneo: So what were you two on about? Dan: We saw some of the character and mechanical designs for the new Bubblegum Crisis 2040 TV series. Rick hates them. Rebecca: As much as I hate to agree with Rick- Rick: Hey! Rebecca: He is right. I just don't think the KS look that good. I mean, Priss, Linna and Nene are pretty generic-looking, and Sylia's all wrong. At least they fixed Priss's hair. Rick: While totally screwing up Nene and Linna's. Rebecca: There is that. However, I suspect that pretty soon it'll be back to "Me Priss, you kill me friend, you die." Togg. Insert sound of Motor- slave breaking. Repeat. Rick: Probably. Rebecca: Not that there seems to be any Motorslaves. Dan: well, we've only seen the early stuff. And Sylia's still equipping them, you know. Rick: Great. So Priss can break it as the series goes along. Rebecca: The other thing that got me was Quincy's new look. I mean, the original Quincy was this HUGE guy with a big grin and deep voice who looked surprisingly youg, fit and strong for his 70 odd years. New Quincy - this frail, wringled old guy who can't walk, can't talk and can't even live without a machine to help him. It's a pretty crappy trteatment of a cool villain. Rick: I suspect Largo will be back. Rebecca: Ad infinitum. Tsuneo: I dunno about that. So far the story's been pretty different. Dan: So what do you think about them. Tsuneo: Well... I like the designs- Rebecca: Of course, coming from the world's number 1 drooling El Hazard fan. Tsuneo: [Pointedly ignoring her] But I will agree that they don't fit the original Sabres. The thing you have to remember is that the characters have been changed as well. So I think they fit their new characters. Rebecca: Get real. They look terrible. Tsuneo: Now, they look different. Just try not to think of them as the same people. Dan: Well, I like the new-look Knight Sabres. They're babes! Rebecca: That's so typical of you. Dan: Thanks... Hey! Rick: So, we get any fanmail? [Tsuneo goes over to the computer and clicks on a few clicky things.] Tsuneo: Here's one from Keith Palmer, on "Macross Chronicles." > After the SVAM pages were finally updated, I went looking for interesting > MSTings. My very first thought when seeing them was that you had been > rather prolific lately, with three new MSTings by you mentioned. Of > course, this might have something to do with the irregular schedule of > updates. > Getting beyond complaints about something you can't do anything about, I > downloaded your MSTing of "Macross Chronicles" to read. No sooner had I > seen my e-mail in "Bubblegum Shift Part 2" over getting an obscure > reference, I realised I had to send you another e-mail about getting the > "43 man Squamish" reference, about the game in which ties are resolved by > shouting dirty limericks at the opposing team until one side breaks down > laughing. Rick: Ha! Someone got that! I don't belive it! > (Don't worry too much; I'm not some malign figure capable of > reading every reference you make, no matter how obscure. Dan: But you'll probably come close. Rick: I take that as a challenge. > I suspected there > was deep significance in the name "Perkins" in the running gag, but > couldn't figure out if that was true or not.) Rebecca: Actually, I just made it up. > Otherwise, the fanfic you MSTed was pleasantly incoherent. (I probably > shouldn't use the word "pleasant"; it likely wasn't pleasant for you.) Rick: It was in a sort of warped way. Tsuneo: The most fun headache I've had in ages. > It's another one of those works that sort of demands to be made fun of, and > I enjoyed the work you'd done on it. > I'll also add a brief word of appreciation of your work on MSTing "Neon > Exodus Evangelion". Having read the original, I'm intrigued by the > theories your characters are assembling to explain the story. I won't say > too much, but they may be getting worked up over technical matters again in > the near future. Tsuneo: [Groans] That bodes. > Keep up the good work! > Keith Palmer | Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than > krjpalme@sciborg.uwaterloo.ca | they appear. > University of Waterloo | Tsuneo: And one from Mike Surbrook on NXE 1.3 >> In EVA-01's singed hands were a pair of the handcannons he'd >>done so well with in the first battle; now he raised them, let the >>fluid grace of the EVA flow into him, and fired off a double volley. > Mohan (sighs): DJ Croft to the rescue...again. > Rebecca: Here we go again. EVA's at the friggin' OK Corral! Someone's > been playing Quake too much. > Samantha: I don't care how cool he thinks he is, Chow-Yun-Fat does it > better. > Tsuneo: Have you met the "Empress" Shion? She has a thing for him, too. > I'd swear she has a drooling shrine to him hidden away somewhere. > Samantha: Don't let her even hear you've said that. > Hold on! That's not Shion who has the hots for Chow Yun-Fat, it's Ling > Ling! Shion lusts after Dark Schneider! Rebecca: Don't worry. I'll beat in Tsuneo's head for that glaring oversight. Tsuneo: [Gulps] Dan: So, anything else. Tsuneo: Yeah. There's a couple from Paul Fauth. here's what he said on "Too Hot To Handle". > Not well, seriously not well at all Tsuneo: And on SMAK 11... > AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rick: Our thoughts exactly. Voice: Hi there. Rebecca: Hello Head. Rick: So, get to the point. What's today's pain? Voice: Well... Today we're continuing with a fic that Rebecca and Dan have been watching. Dan: Not... Bubblegum Shift. Rebecca: Part Three. Dan: Of a world pain. Tsuneo: That bad? Rebecca: BGC SI. Saved Irene and Sho's mum. Knight Saber's intellects falling by the second. Need you know more? Dan: Also with run-on sentences and commas a-plenty! [They all sit - Dan next to Rebecca on the forwards couch, Rick and Tsuneo on the other one. Rick and Dan are next to each other on the corners.] [The TV screen lights up.] > A Bubblegum Crisis FanFic > Bubblegum Shift Rick: There's an extra... Dan: Did that. Rebecca: Twice. > Part 3 > by > Brett Handy Rebecca [Shrill]: Read a book! > Kathy Thomas forced open one eyelid, looking around her room > she tried to determine what it was that had woken her. Usually > she slept Rebecca: With anyone avalible. Tsuneo: Too easy. > only briefly and even then only lightly - but in the > last week, she had done double-duty down at ADP headquarters and > was over-tired. Dan: And under-written. > There came another insistent knock at her apartment door. Rick: Another one? What happened to the first one? > She glanced over at the clock, it was only a > little after seven in the evening, Tsuneo: Kathy really likes to sleep in till late. > "Who could that be?", Rebecca [Cynical]: As If I couldn't guess. Dan: [Moans] > she > thought to herself. Stretching as she got up and walked from her > room, she yawned as she pulled on a robe. Rick & Dan: Awwwww. > The knocking repeated itself again, louder, more anxiously. Rick: Hurry up Kath! I gotta go bathroom! > Kathy picked up the gun > that Jim had forced on her a few months earlier, "Never thought > I'd be glad that I've got this", she thought, grasping the door > handle and flicking off they pistol's safety. > She quickly pulled the door open, stepping sideways and > raising the gun. "Oh, Please, don't shoot!", said a familiar > voice, sarcastically. Kathy nudged the safety back on, looking > at the familiar form of DarkWind. Rick & Tsuneo: Eh? Dan: Our self-insertion. Rebecca: Loathe him or hate him. You just can't like him. > DarkWind was glancing around worriedly, "Well, if you've > finished threatening me with that pop gun, can I come in?", He > asked. Tsuneo: Shoot him! Shoot him! Rebecca: Bump him dead! > Kathy nodded, and moved out of his way, "I hope no-body saw > you arrive", she said worriedly. Rick: Let's see. A huge, winged, black creature is walking down the hall. Nope! Don't see anything unusual there. > He shook his head, "I walked the last mile", he replied, > wearily. Dan: Wow. That's possibly as obvious as it gets. Tsuneo [DarkWind]: Don't mind me. I'm just a figment of your imagination. Just some toxic chemicals. Yeah. > Kathy quickly locked the door, flicking on the light switch, > "Why the hell are you here like this, you'll blow my cover", All: Naw. > she > began angrily. She stopped when she noticed the laser burn on > his shoulder and the melted mess that was the remains of his jet > pack. Rebecca: Say, when did that get busted? It was fine at the end of the last chapter. > "I haven't had a good night", DarkWind began. Dan: It looks like our day will be pretty awful too. > ***** > Jim winced as Kathy placed the last bandage on his shoulder, > "You didn't have to be so rough", he complained. Rebecca [Kathy]: I thought you liked it rough! > Kathy closed the med kit with a sharp click, "You should > have been more careful", she said angrily. Rick: Shouldn't have ret-conned your jetpack. > Jim held up his hand defensively, "No hitting", he > admonished her. Dan: Why not? > Kathy stood and walked over to Jim's endoskeleton, "When did > you add the lasers?", she asked, noting the new attachments. Rebecca: I'm not going to rise to that one. Dan: Really? Rebecca: Aw, hell. [Ahem] The *special* attatchments. Dan: Couldn't help yourself, could you? > Jim walked over beside her, bending down and turning over his > armour, "Well, I figured it would be more economical to replace the > mini-missiles with lasers, Dan: Say, when *did* he put those lasers in? Rick: The miracles of ret-cons. > it's a more versatile weapon", he > explained. He examined the remains of the armour's jetpack, "Well > it looks like I won't be flying anywhere soon", he said. Tsueno: Which makes him a nice, convenient, slow-moving target. Dan: Diddums. Take a bus. > Kathy shook her head, and sat back down in a chair, "So where > to now?", she asked, "I mean, Epsilon Industries has no base of > operations in Japan anymore, what will we do?". Dan: Build a new one? The insurance on that building's gotta be worth something. > Jim examined the armour for a moment more, before sitting down > opposite Kathy, "I don't know", he said quietly. > "What do you mean, 'I don't know', that's not the Jim Williams > that I've know for the last forty years", she began. Rebecca: It's certainly not the one I've known for the last two chapters. > Jim stood angrily, "I *DON'T* have all the answers", Tsuneo: That's shocking to hear out of an avatar. > he > shouted at her, "I can't even take care of my father's business > properly!". > Kathy looked at him calmly, "You're not suppose to have *ALL* > the answers", she said smiling, "just *most* of them". Rick: You'll never get anywhere on "Sale of the Century" that way. > Jim spluttered angrily for a moment more, before slumping down > into a chair. "Don't try to cheer me up, I don't feel like it", Tsuneo: That's why she's trying... ah, forget it. > he said in a defeated tone. > Kathy stood sharply, "When You're finished wallowing in self- > pity, you can stay in the spare room", Tsuneo: Huh? An inner-city Tokyo apartment with room to spare? I gotta get a picture of that. > she said, walking towards > her bedroom, "Oh and try to keep the noise down, my neighbours need > their sleep too". > Jim leaned back in his chair, as he heard her switch off the > lights in her room. "I'm lucky to have her as a friend", Rick: [Jim] Someone who can be so vacant and boosting of my own ego at the same time. > he thought to himself. He relaxed back into the comfortable chair, > and in moments he was asleep. > ****** > Kathy woke to the smell of breakfast being Dan: Torched. > cooked Dan: Hopefully by Akane, C-ko and Misato. > and startled > by that particular fact she sat bolt upright in bed. Realising who > she had as a house guest, Rick: And he, of course, could do everything. Rebecca: Let's see... Living in someone else's apartment and cooking them breakfast while being able to do everythign incredibly well... oh my god. It's DJ Croft. > she relaxed back to wait for Jim to tell > her breakfast was ready. Dan: Ah, get up and get it yourself, you lazy bum. > Last night was the first time she had > seen Jim depressed *ever*. It startled her slightly, this friend > of hers who had always seemed so unemotional, "Well I guess > everybody gets that way sometimes", she thought to herself. > The door to her room opened a crack and Jim peered around the > door, "Kathy... you awake?", he whispered. Rebecca: [Kathy] Er... No! That'll fool him. > Kathy smiled and jumped out of bed quickly, "Yup!", she said > quickly, laughing at his surprised expression. Rick: Dosed up on too much sugar, but okay. > Jim looked at her strangely, "Are you feeling alright?", Tsuneo: [Kathy] No! I'm stuck playing second-fiddle to this god- awful avatar! > he asked, "You don't usually run around half-naked". Rebecca: You obviously don't know her that well. Tsuneo: That was Croftian levels of arrogance and smarminess. > Kathy looked down at herself, and blushed, she grabbed up a > robe quickly, as Jim turned and walked back out of her room > quickly. Kathy followed slowly, "I've *really* got to get a less- > revealing night-dress", she thought. Rick: So why do you wear one like that in the first place? Dan: Fan service. Not that I'm complaining. > Jim was sitting eating his breakfast by the time she reached > the kitchen, he motioned her to eat up. "Come on, I don't often > get a chance to cook", he said. Rick: Which is probably a very good thing. Tsuneo: Another proud graduate of the Akane Tendo school of cooking. > Kathy had just finished her breakfast when the doorbell rang. > Jim, walked over to answer it. "Oh no! I forgot I had an aerobics > class this morning", Kathy thought to herself. > Jim opened the door, to see a rather attractive looking > brunette, and a small red head, both wearing leotards, "Yes?", he > asked. Rebecca: *That's* why she wears that nightie. Tsuneo: Although it would probably be smarter to get changed once... oh, forget it. Dan: You okay? Tsueno: Sorry. This just doesn't make any sense. > ****** > Linna looked up at the young man who opened to door Dan: So, we've replaced Linna with her BGC 2040 counterpart. Rick: Bleah. > and frowned, "Ahh, is Kathy here?", Rebecca: [Linna] And is she wearing that flimsy nightie? > she asked. The fellow smiled and > called over his shoulder, "Kathy, some of your friends are here". Rebecca: [Jim] And they've bought some whipped cream and a ferret. Dan: [Slyly] What is with this whipped cream fetish of yours, Rebecca? Rebecca: [Whacks him with a cushion] Because it's a convenient object with dirty uses. Dan: I should watch your bedroom more often. [Rebecca whacks him repeatedly with a cushion] Tsueno: [Sighs] The kids are fighting again. Rick: Get a room, you guys. [He gets pelted with cushions] > Linna looked at him and frowned, "and you are?", she asked. Tsuneo: [Jim] Don't you know? I'm god here! > "The name's Jim, I'm an old friend of Kathy's", he replied, > offering his hand. Rick: [Linna] Well hello there, tall, dark and wealthy. > Now Linna had known Kathy for a few months now, and she had > never once seen her with guy, well at least not with *this* kind of > guy. She shook his hand in response, "I'm Linna Rebecca: [Linna] Marry me! > and this is Nene", > Linna responded, indicating her wide-eyed companion. Rick: That goes without saying. > Jim nodded and smiled at Nene, "We've already met", he said, > "Done much dancing lately?", he asked. Dan: Eh? Where's he pulling his lines from? > Nene shook her head, "Umm no, I.. Err, I thought that you and > Kathy...", she began. Rick: [Jim] Often. Rebecca: [Kathy] I'm not his girlfriend! And I'm not jealous! > Kathy appeared a moment later, dressed in her work-out > clothes, "Well I'm ready, lets go!", Rebecca: [Linna] What, here? Now? With him watching? > she said quickly, pushing her way past Jim. > Linna and Nene found themselves being pulled along towards > Linna's van. "I'll see you tonight Kathy", Jim called. Dan: Bubblegum Shift, by Brett "Mr. Make It Easy For Us" Handy. > ***** > Kathy could almost feel Linna and Nene's questions hanging in > the air, during the trip. Finally, Nene broke the silence, Rick: [Blows rasberry] [Nene] Sorreee! > "Your > LIVING with him?", she asked shocked, "I thought you were just > friends". Tsuneo: She really jumps to conclusions some days. Dan: Like certain other people. > "We *are* just friends", Kathy began to explain. Rebecca: [Kathy] We're just friends! Really! Just good friends! > "Sure you are", Linna interrupted, "*Very* good friends, it > looks like". Rick: Good call, Rebecca. Dan: Ah, it was too easy anyway. > "How long have the two of you been doing this?", Rebecca: [Linna] Sorry, Nene. I should have told you I was seeing Kathy behind your back. Dan: [Groans] > Nene asked breathlessly, Rebecca: [Kathy] Was it good for you? Dan: Stop it! > obviously thinking something romantic judging by the > look on her face. Rebecca: [Linna] But I'm driving! > Kathy sighed, "Only since last night", she said. Rebecca: [Tries to say something but breaks out laughing] > Linna looked at her closely, "You only spent one night > together and he's making you breakfast?, what's your secret?", Rebecca: [Still laughing] Rick: [Kathy] I'm also seeing Priss! > she asked smiling. > ****** > Jim watched Kathy head off with her friends, noting their > bemused expressions. Tsuneo: [Jim] My avatar effect is working. > "I hope they don't ask any awkward > questions", he thought to himself. All: Too late. > Jim cleaned up the breakfast dishes, and sat down to plan his > next move. Rick: [Jim] Pawn to king four. > Not getting anywhere he flicked on the TV, Dan: [Jim] I've just lost everything, so I'm gonna couch potato for a while. > "And in further news, Tsuneo: [Newsreader] Thousands of fans cried out in pain as Bubblegum Shift continued. > the whereabouts of James Williams the Third are still > unknown, after last night's terrible attack on Epsilon Industries", > the announcer began. Rick: Cue corny Hollywood convenience number 4. The news you want to see is always on at the right time. > Jim winced as the news replayed the > destruction of the Epsilon Towers, "Fortunately there were no > deaths, although many people were wounded by falling debree, Rebecca: So much for your explosive charges Jim. Tsuneo: What? Rebecca: Oh, he had his towers fitted with explosives to make sure they didn't fall down the wrong way. Tsuneo: That makes as much sense as anything else here. > a > spokesman for Epsilon Industries stated that business would > continue as usual". Rick: That is, apart from the fact that their headquarters just got blown up. > Standing and walking over to the window Jim looked out at > Genom's huge world headquarters, "Why can't business continue as > usual", he thought to himself, Tsuneo [Jim]: And where did my question mark go? > "I've still got the Stalker and > what's left of my armour, there's no reason I can't continue, but > I might have to do it in a less visible way". Dan: And the Stalker could be any more obvious? > ***** > Robert Kemper Rick: Who's he? Rebecca: A redshirt from the last chapter. > pulled his van into apartment block's, parking > lot. "What the hell is he doing *here*?", Tsuneo: Starring in a crappy fanfic. Next! > Rob thought to himself. > Since Jim had given him the job of head of security, he had done > all sorts of things, Rebecca: With Jim. And Kathy. And often both of them at once. > but this was very unusual. Jim had ordered > him to bring all of his (remaining) personal belongings over to > Kathy's apartment. Rick: So he lived in his office building? Dan: Probably. Last I saw, he was attatched to it with superglue. > "Since when did Jim and Kathy begin..", he thought. Dan [Kathy]: I'm not his boyfriend! > "Hey Rob", Jim called, walking over to the van. > Robert broke off his train of thought and opened the door, > "Glad to see your alright Jim", he said smiling at his old friend. Rick [Rob]: Damn. > Jim nodded, "same here.. you've got all my stuff?", he asked. Rebecca: Let's see... One blow up doll, one collection of assorted bras, one pair handcuffs, one traffic cone, one hamster- [Dan whacks her with a cushion] > Robert nodded, "Its all in the back, but if I might ask, why > bring it here, wouldn't it be safer to move into the bunker??", he > said. Dan: [Jim] Because I like Kathy's nightie. Rebecca: [Jim] It looks good on me. Dan: Thanks for that. > Jim threw open the van's door, "I don't think so, from now on, > James Williams the Third, is becoming a recluse". Rick: So why the hell not hide in the bunker? Tsuneo: With your comma collection. > Robert blinked confusedly, Jim had always been very high- > profiled, "This is out of character, Dan: Everyone else in this fic is OOC, so I don't see why it matters. > and I must say it seems like > a foolish risk", he commented, helping Jim unload his motorcycle. Rick: [Kemper] Which is why I strongly reccomend it! > Jim shook his head, "It *is* safer this way, no-one will > bother with a simple 'school teacher', Rebecca: Except for those boomers that can track you by your DNA. > I'll have to ask Kathy, Dan: At last, he considers whose house he's wrecking. > but > I think I'll be staying in her spare room for a while", Jim > explained. Rick: [Jim] Weather she likes it or not. > Robert hid a grin, "I'm sure Kathy will be *overjoyed* to hear > that", he said. Tsuneo: Yeah. She'll be thrilled. > Jim looked up from examining his cycle, "Pardon?", he asked. > Robert turned quickly to unload a chest from the van, "Never > mind, I'll get the rest of this up to the apartment", Rebecca: [Kemper] Ah, do it yourself, you lazy bum. > he began wrestling it up the stairs. Dan: Of course, you could use the lift. > "But I want to make one thing clear, > I'm against you placing yourself outside my protection", Robert > added. Tsuneo: I'm all for it, myself. > Jim nodded, "Alright, we'll talk about this later, for now I > want to check out some contacts this afternoon", Rick [Jim]: I lost my old ones, and I can't see a thing! > he explained, getting on his cycle. > Robert smiled slightly, "Have fun", he said, hauling the heavy > chest up the apartment's stairs. > Jim gunned the engine a few times, delighting that the > modifications he had asked for had been completed. Tsuneo: Oh, look, now he's got a superbike. > Shrugging on > his jacket and helmet, he gave Robert a quick wave before streaking > off down the street. Rebecca: And then he was promptly arrested for indecent exposure. > Robert winced as he heard the screech of tires and winced > again as he saw how close Jim came to hitting a light pole, All: Try harder next time! > as he > sped around the corner. "I gotta remember to *never* let him > drive", he thought to himself. Tsuneo: [Kemper] I gotta remember to *never* let him write. > ***** > Jim looked up from his seat in the small bar, noting that > Fargo was on time for once. Nodding to the man Jim gestured to a > secluded table. Dan: Yup! It's a table! All: [Cheers] > "Ahh, I hope this isn't going to get unpleasant", Fargo began. Rick [Fargo voice]: Oh ya. No problems this time. For sure. Dan: Not again... > Jim cut him off, Tsuneo: Aaargh! Getting blood everywhere. > "Shut up and listen, I trusted you to keep > our business quite, unfortunately you decided to share our > conversation with someone". Rebecca [Fargo voice]: Oh ya. Anyone within shouting distance, for sure. > Fargo gulped nervously, "Well, I had no choice, you see..", he > started to explain. Rick: [Fargo voice] It's the voices. They kept saying "tell someone, tell someone." Ya see? > Jim stood suddenly, Dan: [Jim] I ask one question, then go. Makes sense. > "I don't want to hear about it, Tsuneo: A: you just did and B: you asked for it. > but, I > want you to organise a meeting for me with the people who followed > me", he stated flatly. Rebecca: [Fargo, Fargo voice] But will ya try not to kill 'em this time? > "I don't think that I can do that", Fargo explained, "You > see.... well I don't think they'll agree to the meeting". > Jim threw some money down to pay for his drink, "Make them > agree, Tsuneo: [Fargo voice] Real convincing, isn't he. Rebecca: [Ditto] Oh yah. Rick: [Ditto] For sure. Dan: I can't win. > I'll meet one of them tomorrow, tell them to have dinner at > the Mega-Tokyo Hilton, at about seven, ask for the table reserved > for Fortuna", he said quietly. Tsuneo [Fargo voice]: And after that maybe the movies or theatre for sure. Rick [Fargo voice]: Is that as in Bib Fortuna? > "Well I'm not sure...", Fargo began to explain, only to have > Jim turn and walk from the bar. Rebecca: [Jim, Fargo voice] I'm leaving! This time for good. Rick: [Fargo, Fargo voice] But you didn't even pay me! Dan: With the way he treats poor Fargo, it's a wonder he's still working with Jim. Rebecca: [Fargo voice] Avatar effect. Live with it. > "Sylia's not going to like this", he thought to himself. Rick [Fargo voice]: Oh ya. I think that Fargo might have an early retirement. > ***** > Fargo was correct, Sylia was not happy and Priss was downright > angry. Rick: And there's anything unusual in that? > "He wants a meeting?", Priss said angrily, "That bastard > almost killed you and he wants you to quietly have dinner with > him?". Dan: He's an avatar! He can do what he wants! > Sylia nodded, "I'm not sure he was trying to kill me", Rebecca: [Sylia] He just throttled me in a friendly way. > she explained, "After all, we were following him". Rebecca: And that makes pitching you down the alley OK? > Linna shook her head, "You still shouldn't risk it, it's > probably a trap", she commented. Tsuneo: Talk about your statement of the bleedingly obvious. > Nene nodded quickly, "I agree, we should just ignore it". > Sylia was quite for a time, but then spoke quite firmly, "I'm > going", she said. Dan: Yup, and there goes everything we knew about Sylia out the window. > Everyone looked at her in shock, Priss spoke up first, "But > *WHY*?", she said exasperatedly. Rebecca: [Sylia] I can't help it! It's the plot! > Sylia stood and walked over to the computer, tapping a few > keys she bought up Tsuneo: Our lunch. > a schematic diagram of a C-55 Boomer. "These > parts here", she said, indicating some components in the Boomer's Dan: It's not a 33S, so don't. Rebecca: Poopie. > 'brain' area, "Were what Fargo was told to find out information > about". Rick: [Sylia] It was the little hamster on the wheel that bugged him. > Mackie looked closely at the parts on the screen, "They look > like the primary reaction control system", seeing the blank > expressions of Priss, Linna and Nene's faces Rebecca: Nothing unusual there. Dan: How about you just leave us to the fic and go off and write your own anti-fics, Rebecca? Rebecca: I was just commenting on what the fic's done to them. Dan: Oh. No arguments there. > he explained: "These > systems are what provides the Boomer with its agility, all movement > is relayed through them." Tsuneo: Along with rogue commas and run-on sentences. > Sylia nodded, "The C-55's that we have encountered lately all > seem to have this new control system, Rick: Windows for Boomers! > making them a little tougher to take down", she said. > Priss put on a bored expression, Dan: But decided that it made her look fat, so she took it off again. > "so what?", she said. > Sylia tapped the computer again, superimposing the Boomer's > picture over another *incomplete* picture from the files. Rick: [Mackie] We lost some of the pieces and the box lid. > "As you > can see, these circuits fill in some of the missing pieces about > this attack helicopter that's been hanging around". Tsuneo: Can I ask what parts from a Boomer's brain are doing in an attack helicopter? > Mackie studied the plans closely, "Your right sis, those > Boomer circuits could quite easily be modified to work in that > helicopter, which would account for its high manoeuvrability", he > said. All: Eh? Tsuneo: Um... how? You can't just insert 'go faster' chips into a combat machine to make it more manouverable, you need to work that into its structure, control systems, control surfaces, engines... This is just total rubbish! Dan: Nice rant. Tsuneo: It needed saying. > "I was thinking that maybe the circuits had been modified to > fit into the Boomer, as the design has been in the ADP's database > for the last two years", Sylia concluded. Dan: So now he's claiming the invention of the BU-55C? Tsuneo: I half expect him to proclaim himself a trillion times more powerfull than Sylia next. > Priss slapped off the computer screen angrily, "Again, I say > 'so what?', this guy wants info on some Boomer parts, who cares, > what difference does that make to us?", she fumed. Rebecca: Well done. I didn't think Priss could get any more pig- headedly stupid. > Sylia looked at her understandingly, Rick: [Sylia] Poor Priss. She just doesn't have a clue. > "There's also something > else", she said, flicking the screen on again and typing in some > commands. Rebecca [Sylia]: This webpage has some... interesting pictures of you, Linna. > The computer displayed a DNA sequence, but a rather > strange one, it seemed to be in a state of flux, Tsuneo: So... how can you tell it's the one you're looking for? > changing from one > configuration to another. "This was also part of the Boomers > target list, Rick: Along with Authour Avatars and the Spice Girls. Dan: Mutie freaks and Magic players. Rebecca: Moonies and tree-hugging hippies. Tsuneo: Run-on sentances and rouge commas. > it had a second level termination priority ", Sylia said. > Nene looked at it curiously, "I've never seen anything like > *that* before", she studied it for a moment more before looking a > Sylia questioningly, Rebecca [Nene]: Can we go back to the Linna page? > "So what was the first level target?", she asked. All: The authour! > Sylia gave a rare smile, "You have to ask??", she said, > bringing up another display, this time it was a physical > description of the Knight Sabres. Dan: Taken from info form innumerable shrines. Rick: What? A Linna shrine? Dan: Seen it. Rick: Sad. Truly sad. > "So whoever has that DNA trace is automatically targeted", > said Priss, "Unless we are around, of course". Rick [Sylia]: That's what I just said. You deaf or something? > Mackie looked worried, "Sis, I think you had better be careful > meeting this person, if Genom has given them such a high > termination priority, they are probably dangerous", he said. All: Nah! Rick: No, he just hasn't returned the company lawnmower, and Quincy's getting mighty pissed about it. > Sylia gave her brother a reassuring look, "Don't worry, I'll > be careful", she said. Rebecca: Going on her past track record in this fic, she'll probably walk in there in her underwear after giving the others the night off. Dan: I can agree with that. [Rebecca whacks him with a cushion] > ***** > "Damn, I can't believe that Sylia would be this dumb", All: You're not the only one. > Priss > thought to herself. She was riding along the highway, on her way > home. It was getting late, so Priss had opened her bike up and was > doing well over 100mph. Rick: Aren't there traffic police around to deal with this? Or maybe even traffic? > She smiled as she passed yet another slow moving car, "This is > the way to go", she thought to herself. Dan: Oh gods. Here goes epsisode 4. Rick: He includes the most pointless episode of the set. Great. > ***** > Several miles behind Priss, a group of the Outriders > motorcycle gang was not enjoying their evening. Dan: The movie was terrible and the restaraunt was way too expensive. > They were engaged in a running battle with a strange car. Rick: It had this funny glowing red thing on the front and the male lead from Baywatch behind the wheel. > The car was an ancient Griffin, Rebecca: I would love to know how a six year old car qualifies as ancient. > painted jet black. Rick: Can I have a car like that? Rebecca: I saw it first! > For the last few weeks, the car had > been turning up and trashing members of their gang, tonight was > supposed to be their revenge, but unfortunately the car's driver > had other ideas. Tsuneo: He was gonna kill them all with a run-on sentence! > Smashing against the car with crowbars had no > noticeable effect Rick: Other than scuffing the living daylights out of the paint job. > and it seemed to be effectively bullet-proof. > The car was swerving backwards and forwards across the road, Rebecca: Another proud graduate from the Misato Katsuragi school of driving. > knocking riders from their bikes and avoiding other traffic on the > lonely highway. Dan: If it's a lonely highway, where'd the traffic come from? > ***** > Jim was heading back to Kathy's place after having finished > off some details with Robert. His head of security was quite upset > with his decision to move out Rebecca: From their friendly little home. > from under the watchful eyes of his > security teams. It had been quite an argument, but Jim had > prevailed and Robert agreed that Rebecca: Jim should keep the house, the car and Kathy. > maybe a low profile would be best. Tsuneo: All together now... All: Then why not live in the bunker? > The Stalker helicopter and the other aircraft in his hanger had not > been damaged with the destruction of Epsilon Towers, but it would > be increasingly hard to acquire spare parts and fuel, now that > Epsilon Industries had 'officially' pulled out of Mega-Tokyo. Dan: Which, I presume, constitutes "business as usual." > Jim sighed and shook his head slightly, "I hope Kathy doesn't > mind me staying with her for a while, Tsuneo: Why would she argue back? It means having a mind of her own. > I could to with a bit of a > rest before tomorrow's meeting", he thought to himself. Grinning > under his helmet, he slowly increased his speed until he was doing > almost 90mph, Rick: Look out for the truck! CRASH! Oh, dear, what a tragedy. > it felt good to be back on his bike. "This is one > thing that I miss, running that bloody company", he thought. Tsuneo: So much for his father's company that he was so torn up about. > Suddenly a red-trimmed racing bike passed him on his left, its > rider obviously enjoying herself immensely. Rebecca: Well we all know that Priss does have a metal fetish. Rick: She and Leona should get together some time. > Jim grinned again and > gunned the bike, pulling equal to and then beginning to pass the > other rider. Dan: Aaak! Now he's going to save Priss and trash the Griffon. You watch. > ***** > Priss was smiling widely under her helmet, Rebecca: Yeah, she's really enjoying her ride. > so this guy wanted > to challenge her did he? Priss accelerated harder, pushing her > speed up towards 150mph. Rick: This is where they're getting officially stupid. > She laughed silently as her pursuer > matched her speed. "not too bad, at least he's got a good bike", > she thought. Rebecca: [Priss] No! I made a commitment to *my* bike! Dan: Now this is getting *really* sick. > Jim was thinking the exact same thing. "She's good, but I > think it starting to get a little dangerous", Tsuneo: A *little* dangerous? I wouldn't be doing that speed on the straight flats back home. Rebecca: Well, that could be because those Wyoming cops have a habit of shooting first and asking questions later. Tsuneo: True. > he thought, watching the speedo pass 160mph. Rick: To ludicrous speed! Dan: [Barf the Mog] My god! He's gone to plaid! > Priss was just about to decelerate when she caught a flash in > he mirror, Rebecca: In his stupid red suit and everything. > swerving to the left just as a huge black car roared > past her. Tsuneo: With a black-haired kid in the back and an old guy in an X-COM uniform behind the wheel. > She looked over at her competitor, noticing that he was > wobbling slightly, but still upright. "You bastard!", she growled > under her breath. Accelerating sharply, she took off in pursuit of > the black monstrosity. Rick: Uh... Darkwind's *behind* you. Dan: No, the *other* black monstrosity. Rick: Oh, Ankoku then? > Jim was just beginning to get his bike back under control when > he noticed the red cycle's rider pursing the black car. "Damn, > he's fast", Jim thought, "That fool could have killed us both". Rebecca: Personally I thought that was the idea. > Frowning, he jammed down the accelerator, leaping the bike ahead > down the highway. All: Boingy boingy boingy! > Priss was gaining on the black car, her speed was pushing past > 200mph All: Uh? Rick: Now I know she likes her bikes souped-up, but that's just silly. > and the black car was still pulling away. Tsuneo: So... she's gaining on it but it's pulling away? > She grimaced and > accelerated harder, pushing the bike beyond anything she speed she > had reached before. All: Uh? Rebecca: Babelfish strikes again. > She noticed in the corner of her eye that her > competitor was keeping level with her, surprising considering the > high speed was pushing her own bike. Tsuneo: [Priss] No-one's allowed to be as much of a bike hoon as me! > Jim frowned, the red cycle and the car were pulling away > again, he looked at the readouts closely, the bike was reporting > that it would last only a few more minutes at this speed, going any > faster would be asking for a crash. Rick: [Computer] Can I have a crash, please? Rebecca: Just install- Others: [Bored] Windows 98. Rebecca: Alright, already. > Reluctantly he began to slow > down. He watched the black car pull away, leaving the red bike > behind, suddenly he noticed smoke begin to jet from the red bike's > exhaust. "Uh oh", he muttered. Dan: [Rain man] Not good. Definitely not good. > Priss was saying something totally different Rebecca: Which not even *I'm* going to repeat here. Tsuneo: Probably to do with the demeaning rescue that was about to happen. > as her bike began to fall apart, Rick: [Priss] Damn cheap import crap. Rebecca: Are you kidding? This is Japan, home of the cheap crap motor vehicle. Rick: Okay. [Priss] Damn cheap local crap. > her oil pressure dropped to zero and the bike began > to shimmy wildly. Rebecca: I'm sure she finds that to be an entirely pleasant experience. Dan: Drawing from personal experience, I see? [Rebecca whacks him with a cushion] > She was just wondering why on earth she had > tried to catch the black car Rick: That's beginning to worry me too. Rebecca: Penis envy? [Dan whacks her with a cushion] > when a hand grabbed her by the scruff > of the neck, lifting her off the doomed bike. Tsuneo: Told you. > Jim strained under the weight of lifting the other rider off > her bike, even restructuring his arm, it was a heavy load to lift. Dan: Never mind the fact that the weight imbalance would topple you over in an instant and, at this speed, leave you smeared all over the highway. Tsuneo: Why can't the laws of physics notice this fic for a change? > He managed to get the rider off the bike, just as the bearing froze > in the red bikes front wheel, flipping it end over end. Throwing > the girl across his shoulder he swerved to avoid the flipping red > bike. Rebecca: She, of course, did not protest in any way, shape or form. > Unfortunately his rear tyre just clipped the tumbling cycle, > the result was pretty predictable. Rick: Just like the entirety of this fanfic. > Priss suddenly felt her stomach lurch as the rider holding her > hit the pavement. All: [Singing] Jim hit the sidewalk again! > She felt herself tumbling over and over, but > strangely enough the rider managed to cushion her from most of the > impact, Rebecca: While touching her in all the places that she didn't like. > his arms locked around her keeping her from touching the roadway. Tsuneo: This is from a 'holding her over his shoulders' position, I might add. Hardly good protection. > The two came to rest against the guard rail, their bikes were > a crumpled mess, pieces dotting the area. Rick: So any police officer who comes along can book 'em for dangerous driving, speeding *and* littering. Rebecca: Don't laugh, Karen would. > Priss shook her head and > struggled to release the 'death grip' the other rider had on her. > Groaning the other rider let her go Rebecca: [Jim] Was it good for you too? > and rolled painfully to his > feet. Priss pulled off her helmet, throwing it to the ground in > disgust, "Oh, great rescue!', she screamed sarcastically at the > other rider. Rick: Wow. He only saved you from being turned into a gooey pulp. Rebecca: Don't worry about it. Priss has enough hits to survive a 200mph crash. Dan: Or get hit with a tank shell. Tsuneo: No more Fuzion jokes, please. My brain's overloading. > He painfully pulled off his helmet, his brown eyes flashing > anger, "You stupid...", Rick: Our thoughts exactly. > suddenly he broke off and looked at her > closely, "Haven't we met?", he asked. > Priss was indignant, "This is not the time for a pick-up > line", Tsuneo: He's an avatar! He can do whatever he wants! > she responded angrily, then she gasped noticing the still- > smoking jacket on the rider's back. > Jim pulled the jacket off quickly and stamped on it. Dan: Yeah, real suave there man. > He then > turned back to look at Priss, "I'm sure we've met, isn't your name > Priss?", he asked. Rebecca: Of 'Priss and the Repreciants' fame? > Priss tore her eyes away from the jacket and looked at him > closely, "Yes... Umm how did you..", she said dumbfounded. Rick: Could it be he's seen you in concert? > Jim grinned and extended his hand, "The name's Jim Williams, > we met at the ADP-Policeman's Ball", he said. Rebecca: [Priss] Ah, yes. If I recall, you were pissed at the time. Dan: Which explains why he was dancing with Nene. > Priss recognised him as a guy that Nene had latched onto, she > studied him closely, she felt a chill as she recognised his last > name, looking into his eyes, she noticed how much he resembled > another 'Williams' that she knew. Dan: That is such a *startling* revelation which she arrived at *so* quickly. Rick: Jim here went to the Lara Croft school of alternate identities. > Glancing at the road behind > them, she saw a small furrow in the road, Tsuneo: Looks like the Department of Redundancy Department has again struck again. Rick: Just to run a joke into the ground, so to speak. Others: [Groan] > "That jacket of his must > have been armoured if he got away without a scratch", she though. Rebecca: He could be a boomer. Rick: He could be a giant chicken. Rebecca: Oh, please. Boo's got too much talent for this. > Jim noticed the strange expression on her face, suddenly > remembering his previous meetings with Priss, some in his > millionaire disguise (which looked like a Jim of about 50 years > old). Rebecca: Thank you for reminding us of that *yet* again. > "are you ok?", he asked finally. > Priss nodded absently, "Yeah, how about you?", she asked. > Making a show of testing his limbs, Jim grinned, "None the > worse for ware", Tsuneo: [Priss] Damn. Gotta try harder next time. > he said, then he glanced at what was left of his > bike, "Unfortunately the same can't be said for our bikes". Dan: [Jim] No, I' think they'll be- WHOOM! There they go! > Priss grimaced and walked over to her own bike, kicking the > back tyre, Rick: Or something that at least resembled it. > "Well it looks like I'm walking", she said. > Jim nodded, "Me to.... I guess I'd better call the THP and > report this, after I call the wrecking yard to come and pick up my > bike", he said sourly. Tsuneo: Wouldn't it be an idea to call the police first? Just wondering. I mean, there is this huge black car on the loose and all... Rick: Wouldn't it be an idea to get off the freeway before anyone runs them down? > Priss looked at him again, this time inquisitively, "Why did > you try to help me anyway?", she asked. > Jim smiled, "Why not?, you were in trouble so....", he > replied. Dan: [Jim] I thought I'd utterly degrade you, get a good feel and stroke my own ego at the same time. > Priss nodded, "Very nice of you, sorry it wrecked your bike", > she said a trifle guiltily. > Jim laughed, "Its just a machine, something that can be > replaced", he said, "Besides I couldn't resist the chance to pick > up a beautiful woman". Rick: That is the lamest gag I've heard in ages. Dan: Kill him, Priss, you know you wanna. Rebecca: Now watch as he turns into DJ Croft. > ****** > "I'm telling you Nene, he's the spitting image of that James > Williams of Epsilon Industries", Priss said, for the 20th time. Rick: And we said: "Shut up Priss, we heard you the first 19 times." > Nene shook her head, "So what, you've met them both and have > found nothing wrong with either of them, so why bother telling > Kathy about it". Tsuneo: Could it be that they're related, given they look similar and have the same last name? All: Naw. > Priss shrugged, "Well I thought that you would want one of > your friends to know that she might be involved with someone > unusual". Rick: And she's already hanging around Linna and Nene? No worries there. > Linna laughed, "Hey, I'd be involved with someone who looked > like he does, even if he is a little 'unusual'". Dan: Linna, no offense, but you'd be involved with anyone. > Sylia chose that moment to make her entry, she was wearing a > loose fitting dress, with a veil covering her face. Rebecca: To make sure no-one noticed that she was still Kasumi. > The whole effect was so that she wouldn't be recognised. Rick: While standing out like a sore thumb. Way to go. > "Well what do you think?", she asked the assembled Knight Sabres. Tsuneo: [Linna] You really, really don't want to know. > Linna grimaced, "Well if you don't want people to know who > your are, your doing well, your own mother wouldn't recognise you > in that outfit". Tsuneo: And I wouldn't recognise most of that line as english. Rebecca: In saying such, Linna has just proved everything I've ever said about her. > Sylia nodded, her movements slightly muffled by the heavy > garments, "Good I'll be leaving soon, Dan: [Sylia] You'll never see me again. > you all know what to do", Rick: [Priss] Party time. Dan: [Rolls eyes] Here she goes. Rebecca: What? What? > she > said, turning to leave. The other Knight Sabres would be > monitoring the conversation from the control van, Tsuneo: Yeah, that's gonna be marvellous. Pay no attention to me! I'm just an enourmous armoured truck! Pay no attention to the motorcycles coming out of my back. > so that if it was > a trap, Linna, Nene and Priss would be able to Rick: Run like the wind. > respond with their hardsuits. > "Be careful sis", said Mackie quietly. > ****** Tsuneo: You know, it occurs to me that we're about half way through this chapter already. Is this actually going anywhere? Rebecca: Based on past experiences: To a poorly written, drawn-out fight scene. > Sylia was sitting overlooking the beautiful landscaped > interior gardens of the Mega-Tokyo Hilton. Rick: What is this, a fanfic or an ad? > She had arrived a few > minutes early and kept a careful watch for any indications of a > trap. Rebecca: You know, stuff like anvils hanging from the roof, large piles of birdseed and loitering coyotes. Rick: Unfortunately, she didn't notice the huge stone ball rolling down the hallway straight at her. > Noticing no signs of a trap and having the added support of > the rest of the Knight Sabres only a few streets away in the > command truck, Rick: Featuring all the intense recap action of X-Raider! Rebecca: Ugh. Never mention that fic. > she decided to take her place at the table. > At precisely seven o'clock she noticed a *very* familiar > figure enter the restaurant. "What the hell is he doing here?", > she thought to herself, watching as Fargo walked across the room > and sat opposite her. > "What's going on Fargo, why are you here?", she said angrily. Rick: [Fargo voice] Me? I'm getting my appearance fee. For sure. Dan: [Director] Get out! You've already had your token scene for this chapter. > The voice that came out of Fargo's mouth startled her, "I'm > not Fargo", it said simply. Tsuneo: Uh, Jim? They know what you look like. No point trying to hide it. > Sylia frowned, examining the figure in > front of her carefully, whoever he was he was wearing a *very* good > disguise. Rick: She could only barely see the rental tag sticking out the back of his jacket. > "What do you want to talk about?", Sylia asked bluntly. Dan: [Jim] Oh, the usual. The weather, how bad the Cubs are loosing, that kind of stuff. > Leaning back in his chair the strange man looked at her > carefully, "I don't believe that your working for Genom, if that > was the case I would have expected to meet a Boomer waiting for me > today", he said quietly. Tsuneo: Is it just me, or has he entirely missed the BU-55C's disguise function? Dan: Based on his past track record, probably. > The stranger looked at her curiously, "If your not working for > Genom, who are you then?", he asked. Rick: [Deep] I'm your worst nightmare. Dan: [Jim] No, waking up without my- Rebecca: Thank you! Although, keep this up and it can be arranged. Dan: I'm surprised you're complaining about filthy comments. Rebecca: I only complain when you steal them from me. > Sylia's mind was working overtime, Rick: You could smell the rubber burning. Dan: Hey! That's totally unfair! Rick: Look, don't think of it as Sylia. It's her twisted Brett clone. It makes things a lot easier. > unless this was a *very* > elaborate trap...... "I work for myself", she answered truthfully, > "Who wants to know?". Rebecca: The IRS! > The stranger with Fargo's face Dan: Maybe you should give it back. > smiled knowingly, "Well, lets > just say I'm someone who does *not* like Boomer's very much", he > said. Tsuneo: Or proper punctuation either, evidently. > ****** > Priss slapped the bulkhead in disgust (and considering that > she was wearing her hardsuit she made quite a dint), Rebecca: [Priss] Whoops! Just smashed up some valuable equipment, don't mind me. > "This is > telling us nothing, why don't we go in a rough this guy up?", she > said testily. Rick: Because it would be a totally stupid, dangerous and unproductive thing to do? Dan: Brett clones. Rick: Natch. Dan: Hey, you're right. > "Shh, I can't here what they're saying", whispered Nene > crossly. Rebecca: Nene? Cross? Obviously she hasn't been getting her prozac. > Priss made a show of zipping her lip and quietened down. The > conversation between Sylia and the strange man continued for many > minutes, both of them asking questions and neither of them > receiving much in the way of a clear answer. Dan: And he's too clumsy an authour to write it properly. Rick: It would be like a conversation between Ambassador Kosh and Yoda, only badly written. > Priss glanced over at > another console, this one was used to monitor the ADP radio > frequency. Rebecca: And all those 0055 numbers that brought Priss her extra income. > There were red lights all over it, Tsuneo: [Priss] Uh, Nene, I think the console's broken. > "Holy.....", she > began, rushing over to the console reading the screen carefully. > Linna and Nene raced over with her, Sylia's conversation > forgotten. "My god, it looks like there are a pair of BU-12's in > running amuck in the next district, and a C-55 moving this way from > the south", Linna gasped. Dan: Can I ask why? Tsuneo: It's the Brettverse. It doesn't need to make sense. > Priss thought for a moment, "Nene, you stay here, Linna and I > will take out those BU-12s and the C-55", she said. Rick: [Linna] Maybe dinner and a movie? Rebecca: [Priss] Maybe it'll be that cute female 55C from Aqua city. Dan: Watch it. > Linna nodded, "We can handle it, keep an eye on Sylia", she > said, jumping onto her combat cycle. Before Nene could say > anything, her two friends were already disappearing into the night. Tsuneo: And hopefully out of this crappy fic. > ****** > Sylia's expression didn't change, but she was fuming inside, Rick: Better turn down the heater in this restaraunt. > as Nene told her over her earpiece about Priss and Linna going off > to fight a pair of combat Boomers. Dan: Pair? Wasn't there three of them? Rick: [Nene] Hehehe! Silly me! > She resisted the temptation of > racing from the restaurant and help her friends. Rebecca: Although getting out of this conversation *is* a tempting idea. > "Something wrong?", Tsuneo: [Deep breath] I'm being treated like a useless, doped up moron by the self-inserted authour with serious ego problems in this hideously out of character, crappy fanfic! Dan: Well done. And you've only seen this part. Rebecca: And I wasn't joking about Kasumi. > her strange companion asked. > Sylia shook her head, "Never mind, its nothing", she replied, > "Now how much do you know about the C-55 boomer?". Dan: It's big, blue, ugly and dies in droves in Koopa fics. Rick: Very little, apparently. > ****** > "NO! You can't take the Stalker out by yourself", said a very > upset Robert Kemper. Rick: [Kemper] You need permission from god-boy first. Rebecca: [Kemper] You're a female character, so you can't do anything right. > "Oh come on Rob", said Kathy urgently, "I can fly the thing". Tsuneo: Famous last words. Dan: [Kathy] I've played Commanche for hours! > Robert shook his head, "Jim left instructions that the Stalker > was not to be taken out without his permission", he said flatly. > Kathy shrugged, "Well Jim didn't realise that the city would > be attacked while he's in a meeting", Tsuneo: Which, you've got to admit, is one of the dumbest things he's ever managed. Rebecca: One of. > she said, "So I guess those orders don't count". > Robert frowned, "How do you figure that?", he said. Rebecca: By using what little brainpower she's got. > Kathy suddenly reformed into her fight form. To anyone else > it would have looked rather strange: an eight foot tall golden > warrior, pleading with a six foot, rather normal looking man. Rick: When did she start pleading? Dan: It's Kathy. It's assumed. > "Don't try to intimidate me!", Robert said angrily. Tsuneo: Did we just loose a chunk of conversation here? Rebecca: It doesn't involve Darkwind, so it isn't worth editing. Dan: Like the rest of the fic? Rebecca: Point. > Kathy decided to try a different track, "Well why don't you > come with me?", she asked slyly. Rebecca: [Kathy] I'm sure there's plenty of space in here. Dan: It might make fliying a bit difficult, though. > Robert blinked and frowned, "Well...", he began, "I suppose it > is an emergency". Tsuneo: Wow. i think we just saw a character slip below the depths even Sylia's reached. > ****** > Priss and Linna sped through the streets, eliciting strange > looks from other drivers. Tsuneo: Don't mind us! We're just armoured maniacs on superbikes! Pay no attention to the guns! > They finally began to pick up the > Boomer's signals on their suit scanners. Rick: They can tell you the difference between the Italian original and a cheap knock-off. > "It looks like its > concentrating on destroying a building", Priss observed, frowning. > Linna nodded under her helmet, "It does seem a little > unusual", she replied. Dan: Oh, only a little bit? > Skidding to a stop in front of the building, Priss noted that > it was an apartment building. Rick: And you didn't notice this before? > Shuddering she glanced at the bodies > of some of the more unfortunate tenants. Dan: The decor in the lobby finally got to them. > Quickly jumping off the > bike she raced through the entrance of the building. Linna > followed a few steps behind, looking around for any signs of the > Boomers. Tsuneo: Other than the ones you just passed, you mean? > A shattering explosion echoed through the building, Rick: Turn down that goddamned stereo! > Priss > slowed as she heard commotion from further up the corridor. "You > should not oppose the conclave, come out and receive your > punishment", Rebecca: It's Sailor Boomer! All: AARGH! > said a mechanical voice. This was followed buy the > sound of a machine gun firing. "You cannot escape, surrender > now!", Rick: Or not. Do we really care? > it said again, the sound of crunching furniture followed > that final statement. Dan: Guess he doesn't like the decor either. > Priss glanced around the corner, seeing something rather > strange. Tsuneo: A humble authour avatar? Rick: The grammar and punctuation in this fic? > The Boomer was standing in the middle of the room, it was > overturning furniture and blasting its auto-cannon at the walls and > floor. Tsuneo: I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! Rebecca: I'd hit you if it wasn't so appropriate. > Priss didn't wait for it to notice her, she fired a pair of > rail-gun spikes at it, and charged. Dan: And... what happened to the shots? > Linna followed firing her own cannon, moving close for a body > shot. Rick: [Director] Okay, baby, just show a little more leg. > Surprisingly the Boomer began to back off, trying to defend > itself! Dan: And what's so surprising about that? You make it sound like they usually fight like zombies. > Priss didn't waste any time, smashing her fist into the > Boomer's mid-section. Rebecca: Yeah, that'll do a lot. Tsuneo: Not even her Fuzion stats will get it through that boomer's armour. > The Boomer blocked her fist, throwing her > across the room and through a wall. All: Togg! > Linna jumped forward at the > Boomer's head, she got in a point-blank shot - blowing the strange > Boomers head from it's shoulders. All: WA-TAK! > The mortally wounded Boomer began to vibrate wildly. Rebecca: [Priss] Ooohhh... I like that boomer. > Linna backed away from it, Priss joined > her at the room's doorway. The two watched as the Boomer began to > melt Rick: [Boomer] I'm melting, I'm melting! > - it was as if an extremely corrosive acid was eating away at > it. Soon all that was left was a puddle on the floor (surprisingly > the floor was not dissolving). Linna picked up a chair leg off of > the floor and tested the residue. Dan: [Linna] Tastes like chicken. > "Whatever was used to dissolve > the Boomer was completely neutralised by the time it finished", Rick: You don't say. It's why you've still got a finger. > she said, examining the remains. > "What the hell was it doing?", Priss exclaimed, she had never > fought a Boomer that had defended itself so well. Rebecca: What, backed off and had its head explode? Dan: Never mind that assassin which leapt, blocked, dodged... > Linna shrugged, "Lets just go and get the other one", Rick: [Priss] Let's not and say we did. > she > suggested. The two Knight Sabres moved quickly to follow the > second Boomer's signal. > As the two left, a *very* small sparrow hopped out from under > the bed. It looked around carefully, noting that it was alone the > sparrow jumped into the air flying up to a broken window. It > chirped in satisfaction before returning to the floor of the room. > Suddenly it shimmered, reforming into a young red-haired man. > "Geeze that was close", he exclaimed, "I gotta find a better class > of neighbourhood". All: Ha ha. Hahaha. Ha. Rebecca: Fun-ee. Tsuneo: So am I to understand that Genom's just sending out boomers to randomly exterminate any shapeshifters they come across? Dan: Something like that. Tsuneo: But why? I mean, there's hundereds of more efficient methods, considering they can track by DNA. Rebecca: Quincy's been replaced by Doctor Evil and is playing second fiddle to an authour-created villain. > ****** > "OH SHIT!", screamed Leon, Rebecca: At least Leon's in character. > diving behind an APC as the BU-12 > opened up on his squad with it's auto-cannon. Rick: Cue a few hundred more gevious ADP casualties. Dan: Oh, look, you can see number 28 dying again. > The ADP cruiser he > had been taking cover behind exploded in a wash of heat and noise. Tsuneo: The ADP should consider armouring their vehicles with something other than masonite. > He winced as a piece of red-hot metal impacted into the APC beside > him. > "Where the hell are the choppers?", Dan: Busy exploding, what did you think? > he thought frantically. > The squad had arrived to find the Boomer stalking a crowd of > shoppers in one of the numerous shopping malls in the downtown > central business district, it seemed to be searching for someone > specific. Rick: [Boomer] No, not you. Not you either. You lot can go home. Dan: [Ditto] Sorry about that. It'll grow back eventually. > "Well at least I can report that this Boomer is not a rouge, Rick: No, it's the usual BU-12B brown. > it's here for a purpose", he thought. Tsuneo: I wonder if the authour has considered what boomers running around randomly killing people will do for Genom's image? Rebecca: Of course not. Boomers have only just been invented and started showing up. Rick: You're joking. Dan: No, if she was joking, she would have said "Dr. Kevorkian, a rabbi and a donkey are stuck in a lift." > Another ADP patrol car exploded from the other side of the street, Dan: And the boomer didn't even go near it. Tsuneo: It's at about this point that riffing the ADP becomes a futile exercise. [Pause] Rebecca: So? > "If I survive", he muttered. Dan: It's about this time that his ubercopter will swoop down and save Leon. > The sound of rotor blades interrupted Leon's thoughts, he > looked down the street behind the Boomer to see a sleek attack > helicopter flying down the middle of the street! Rick: Nice call. Dan: Whatever. It happened in the first part. Rebecca: Happened in the second. > He watched as it > flew *under* a road overpass, "That pilot must be crazy!", Rebecca: No, just stupid. It is Kathy after all. Rick: Anyone would think you had something against her. > he > thought. As the chopper grew closer he noticed that it didn't > resemble anything he had seen before. Dan: No, Leon, you *have* seen attack helicopters before. Rick: Not ones that didn't blow up. Tsuneo: I see what you mean. > A missile streaked from a > launcher on one of it's wingtips, detonating just behind the > Boomer. Rebecca: Note that while Jim can take the wings off flies with that chaingun, Kathy can't even hit it with one of those, and I quote, "laser-guided smart missiles." > The Boomer began to back off down the street laying down > a storm of bullets at the helicopter. > Leon watched expecting the helicopter to explode in a ball of > flame. Rick: You'd be amazed Leon, but other people *armour* their choppers. > To his surprise the bullets bounced off, doing little or no > damage. The Boomer dodged into one of the many shops in the Mall, Dan: A Grand Mall. Rebecca: Obscure BGC reference. > making its own door. Tsuneo: You could at least go out the same way you came in! > The helicopter hovered for a few moments > above Leon, "There is backup on the way Dan: Backup from where? > Inspector McNicoll, keep > your men back for the moment", came an unfamiliar male voice from > the helicopter. Rick: [Leon] No, we were planning to all charge out and get slaughtered. > Leon was only too eager to pull his men back, so signalled to > them to move back down the street. Dan: That's right, leave the scene for the mysterious person in the highly dangerous attack helicopter. That makes sense, doesn't it. Tsuneo: No. Rick: Which is why it's here. > He glanced once more at the > helicopter before jogging after the remains of his team. Dan: And there's number 28's spleen! > He had > just taken cover when he saw a pair of familiar figures race past, Rick: Batman and Robin leap into action! > heading towards where the boomer disappeared. "Well I hope the > Knight Sabres get along with those people in the helicopter, > otherwise I don't know how we're suppose to stop them", he > commented to his troop sergeant. Rebecca: [Sergeant] Shut up and do your job, you moron. > ***** > Nene was getting concerned, Tsuneo: Just a few boomers running amok, nothing to worry about. > the Boomer's were not acting the same as usual. Dan: Since when? They rampage and mow down everything in sight. Rick: Especially the ADP. Rebecca: I think he was referring to the way they used their brainpower. Dan: My point. > Priss and Linna had described the way the first > Boomer had attempted to defend itself Tsuneo: By... dissolving into a puddle? > and she had heard Leon's description of how the other BU-12 reacted. Rebecca: It wet its pants and had a sulk. > "It's as if someone has changed their whole operating > parameters", commented Mackie, echoing Nene's thoughts. Dan: [Clears throat loudly] > Nene nodded, "I don't understand it either", she said. Rebecca: You don't understand much, do you? > The C-55 that had been heading past, suddenly turned straight > towards the restaurant that Sylia was in. Tsuneo: And who saw that one coming? [They all raise their hands] > "What the...", said > Mackie. The change in course had been abrupt, one moment it was > heading north, straight past them, the next it had changed course > directly for the Hilton. Rick: Yeah, you just said that. > "Sylia, there's a Boomer heading right for you!", Mackie > called over the communicator. Dan: [Uncle Jimbo] I'ts coming right for us! > Nene, meanwhile had opened the top hatch and was preparing to > leave. Rebecca: [Nene] Uh... Mackie? You handle this. I'm outta here. > "I'll try to hold it off", All except Dan: [Burst out laughing] Dan: No joke! She took out a 55C solo in episode three! Rebecca: Yes, but this is her Brett clone, remember? > she said in a quavering voice, > "Try and get Priss and Linna back here!". Dan: [Nene] I want someone to gloat to! > Mackie nodded, realising that Nene was far out-classed by the > Boomer. "Damn, why didn't I bring *my* suit along", Rick: Because it's probably still at the dry-cleaner's. > he thought to > himself. The new suit that had been designed for him as a heavy > weapons platform had just been completed, Tsuneo: It's Mackie's red super-hardsuit! All: AARGH! > but Sylia wouldn't let him take it out until it was tested. > "Good Luck", he called. Nene nodded and engaged her jets, > skimming off into the night. All: You'll need it. > ****** > "Excuse me?", said Jim, looking at the strange woman in front > of him. Rick: [Jim] You're not paying attention to *me!* > "Sorry, I just got a bit distracted", she replied. Rebecca: [Sylia] I just saw my replacement... [Shudders] > Jim had been verbally fencing with this strange woman for > almost half and hour. Tsuneo: En garde! > It had been one of the most interesting, and > simultaneously, least-informative conversations he had *ever* had. > He frowned thoughtfully at her, "Well I'm sorry that I'm boring > you..", he began. Rebecca: Too late for that. > The woman shook her head, "Its not that, I'm just...", she > started to explain. > The explanation never got any further, one window of the > restaurant exploded inwards, showering those nearest with glass. Dan: It's Bruce Willis! > A C-55 Boomer landed in the room with crash. Rick: Ah, well. Ugly enough. Rebecca: And with twice the talent. > Jim stood and glared at the woman, "So, it was a trap", he > said angrily, All: Naw! Tsuneo: That's right, she was going to disable you with her conversational skills, then get the 55C to finish you. Dan: This guy is so paranoid it's not funny. > grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet. He > pulled her in front of him, using her as a shield. "Hopefully, > they won't kill one of their own agents", Rick: Now there's famous last words for you. > he thought to himself. > ****** > Sylia struggled against the man holding her, Tsuneo: and this warrants a scene change? > suddenly she was > flipped around and found herself being used as a shield. "Stop > this, I didn't try to trap you!", she screamed. Dan: [Sylia] Really! Rebecca: [Sylia] Although I would have liked to. > She looked up in time to see the Boomer open its mouth, Rick: EEEW! Floss after eating, mate! > and > the tell-tale glow of a laser preparing to fire. She closed her > eyes, expecting to feel the searing heat hit her body. Dan: No, if this was really Sylia, by know she would have kicked Jim in the balls, tossed him at the boomer and bolted. Rick: Either that, or just soaked up the laser blast, then blasted it back through her staff, blowing the boomer to atoms. Rebecca: Still bitter, huh? Rick: A bit. > She was jerked off Rebecca: Great going Jim. Get a quick grope while you're there. > her feet and she felt herself flying through the air. Dan: [Sylia] I can fly! Rick: She can do that too, you know. Dan: [Whacks Rick with a cushion] Now stop that. Tsuneo: Actually, Ifurita could do wonders for this fic. > Glass shattered and she felt a few pieces cut her face. She was > flung over the man's shoulder as he began to run. Rebecca: While we're at it, what's this thing he has for throwing Knight Sabres over his shoulders? > She opened her eyes to see that they had jumped almost two > stories. Rick: SPLAT! Eew... > "How....", she muttered under her breath. Rebecca: Ah, the miracles of self-insertion. Dan: [Clears throat loudly] > Abruptly she > found herself on her feet, she wobbled for a moment before > regaining her balance. Rick: [Sylia] Gotta cut down on the booze. Rebecca: No more all-nighters at Priss' for you! Dan: [Whacks her with a cushion] And I suppose you were there too? > The man that looked like Fargo dabbed at her cut face with a > handkerchief that he pulled from his trenchcoat. "Sorry about > that, but there was no other way out", he said. Rick: You could've used the wall. > Sylia knocked his hand away, "Who the hell are you?", Tsuneo: A noxious god-boy self-insertion by some fat looser from Queensland! > she > asked for about the tenth time tonight, "How did you jump that far > without breaking anything?". Dan: He used platform game logic. > The man nodded, "Alright, I can see that you don't work for > them, if you did they wouldn't have tried to take you out", Rebecca: Maybe they just don't like her? Tsuneo: I'm not too fond of Kasumi myself. > he > said. An explosion, followed by gunfire echoed from the > restaurant. Dan: [Marine] Gues she don't like the corn bread either. > Sylia looked back to see a familiar pink figure dodging away > from the Boomer. Tsuneo: Gee, how many other pink figures do we know? Rebecca: Mylene's VF-11? Dan: Chibi-Usa? Rick: Mai Shiranui? Dan: Um, she wears red. Rick: But there's an awfull lot of pink showing. > "Nene, NO!, your not good enough", Dan: [Yoda] No. Ready you are not. Training you must complete. > her mind > screamed, she made and effort not to let anything show on her face. Tsuneo: Of course, since she's wearing a veil, it doesn't really matter. Dan: Oh, yeah. I forgot her marvellous disguise. > Unfortunately the man picked up the slight tightening around her > eyes, at the sight of her friend. Rebecca: So did Brett from the looks of things. > "So, your with the Knight Sabres", he said thoughtfully. Rick: A brilliant deduction. Especially considering it's coming from a total moron. Tsuneo: Based on evidence he can't see on someone who wouldn't show it anyway. > Sylia saw no point denying it, "Yes, we are concerned over > your attempts to learn more about us", she said. Rick: You're not from an RPG company, are you? > The figure smiled, "If you had told me that from the > beginning, it might have made things easier", he said. Dan: Of course it means that he would have had your secret ID and all, but never mind. Rebecca: It's the kind of thing her Brett-dopple would do anyway. > Sylia looked at him strangely, "What??", she asked, confused. Tsuneo: He said, "If you had told me that-" [Gets pelted with cushions] > In response the man shimmered, his features melting and > reforming. Rick: [Sylia] Aah! It's the bad guy from Terminator 2! > The man grew larger quickly, ripping out of the trenchcoat, Dan: Why didn't he have a problem with this kind of thing before? Tsuneo: Because it wasn't a dramatically appropriate moment. > Sylia took a few steps backwards as she was faced with > the figure she knew as DarkWind. Rebecca: Rather than doing something smart and shapeshifting into a boomer, like Madaline did. > "So, you see, we've already met", DarkWind said. Rick: [Jim] We meet again, mister Bond. > Another series of explosions rocked the Hotel grounds, Dan: Those food critics can be really harsh on a place. > followed by an amplified woman's scream. Tsuneo: Why is it amplified? Rebecca: It's Nene. Tsuneo: Point. > DarkWind quickly turned and ran Rick: Away. > back towards the restaurant, "I think your friend needs > help!", he called over his shoulder. Dan: No, I think you need help. > Sylia watched as a pair of leathery wings unfolded from > DarkWind's back, propelling him back thought Tsuneo: So... he's a psychic now? > the broken window. > "Mackie, get my suit ready", she called into the communicator, as > she ran towards the waiting command van. > ****** > Nene let out a scream, as the Boomer's laser caught her on the > shoulder. Rebecca: *Everyone* gets shot in the shoulder in this fic! Where's Megatron when you need him? > She rolled behind a table, trying to catch her breath. Rick: There it goes! There! > The Boomer was closing in on her and she had no options left. Dan: Maybe she could actually fire at it. > She dove again, across between two tables, Tsuneo: Across between... Nope. Lost me there. > screaming for a second time > as the Boomer's claws racked her leg. Landing hard, she was > stunned for a moment, Rick: Nene's always stunned! It's her natural state! > she had never fought a Boomer like this, it > was anticipating her moves. Rebecca: It had studied the BGC videos intently. Dan: [Boomer] Let's see... Falls down and wails, falls down and wails... I'm spotting a pattern forming. > "No", she cried, Rick: [Nene] Blonde hair, what was I thinking? > as the Boomer prepared to fire it's laser > again, this time a point-blank range. She couldn't move, the pain > was too much. Tsuneo: The fic was too bad. > A black blur, hit the Boomer in the side of the head, Rick: Rouge Comma Man strikes again! > knocking > it aside. A black shape landed between her and the Boomer. Rebecca: Best place for him, in the line of fire. > "Get > out of here Knight Sabre, I'll take this one", Tsuneo: [Jim] I'll cut your fats out, don't you believe it? > came a somewhat- > familiar voice. "What was that thing's name again?", she thought. Rick: Darkwing. Rebecca: BB. Dan: Get that one, Kieth. > Not waiting for a second invitation, Nene weakly pulled > herself towards the door. Dan: [Nene] Don't mind me... I'll just crawl away in considerable agony... > ****** > DarkWind faced off against the C-55, Tsuneo: Hold it! Time out for a refreshing pose break, everybody! Dan: Grit those teeth! > trying to forget what > happened the last time he had to fight one. Extending his arms and > lowering into a crouch he waited for the Boomer to make the first > move. Tsuneo: Good posing, kids. Now you can get back to the imminent fight scene. > Surprisingly the Boomer spoke, "Surrender DarkWind, you have > no chance against the Conclave", it said. Dan: Does he want to make himself any more ovious and recognisable? > DarkWind frowned, his mind racing, Rebecca: The hamster wheel squeaking, the rubber burning... > why surrender, the Conclave should have wanted him dead. Tsuneo: Why ask us? We don't know either. > He jumped towards the Boomer, > feinting his arms towards its head, while reforming his legs into > a shape blade. Tsuneo: The shape of a blade? Rick: Both legs into one blade? Now try standing. Dan: Someone's been playing too much Darkstalkers again. > The Boomer was not fooled, it ignored the claws, jumping back > slightly, it caught the Tsuneo: Horde of commas. > leg-blade in one hand. Dan: Well that really worked. > Sharply it crunched > it's hand closed, DarkWind let out a cry of pain. The Boomer > casually threw him to the floor. All: Hooray! Dan: Stomp on him! Rebecca: Crush his head, you know you want to! > "You must surrender, there is no choice", it said again. All: [Bored] Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. > DarkWind was getting clumsily to his feet, using his wings to > hold himself upright. Dan: Well, you could start by getting your legs back. > This Boomer was nothing if not persistent. Tsuneo: Persistent? It's whacked him once, and he calls it persistent? > He quickly flicked on his communicator, and sub-vocalised a message > to Kathy (Note: Sub-vocalised means that while he made no noise, > the communicator picked up the message due to vibrations around > it). Rick: There you go folks. Your educational content for the fic. Rebecca: That bit sounded so much like something from Sheep Sheep. Dan: Yeah. It was pretty baaaaaad. Rick: Ewe said it. > "Jim?!?", where are you, came Kathy's concerned voice. Tsuneo [Kathy]: And what happened to my quotation marks? > "No time, the Boomers have been re-programmed, they've got > some kind of hyper-combat system", Dan: They've been drinking way too much coffe. Rick: [Jim] I'm loosing, and I've got to make up a bad excuse. > he quickly explained. > The Boomer bellowed again, "You have ten seconds to > surrender", it said. Tsuneo: [Boomer] Nine... eight... BLAM! Fooled you! > "Sorry Kathy, I've got to go, take care of yourself", with > that he shut off the communicator. Rick: That has to have been ten seconds there. > ****** > "JIM!", Rick: ADRIAN! Rebecca: KAHN! Dan: HORTENSE! Tsuneo: HELP! > Kathy nearly screamed into the microphone. > Robert, winced at the feedback, "He's offline, Dan: [Robert] Just e-mail him a message for later. > I've got a > trace though", he said. Kathy dodged the helicopter under a > walkway, only just missing the ground. "Watch it!", Robert said, > as he passed within a few meters of becoming a wet smear on the > concrete. Rebecca: While leaving a wet smear on the seat. > Kathy grunted Rick: Oh, look, it's her best dialogue yet. > and hauled the Stalker up to a higher altitude. > They still couldn't find the other Boomer, Rebecca: Tried looking behind the couch? It's always there. > it was dodging around > the Mall, keeping out of sight. Kathy was about to suggest that > they leave this Boomer and go and find Jim, Tsuneo: Letting it run around and kill as many people as it wants. > when it suddenly appeared on the roof of the building. Dan: [Boomer] Yoo-hoo! Down here! > Kathy jinked again, as a > flag-pole speared through the air at them, the Boomer had run out > of ammo for it's grenade launcher and was using whatever was at > hand. Tsuneo: That run-on sentence probably provided a fair deal of ammo. > Robert targeted his last missile at the Boomer, firing as soon > as he achieved a lock. Unfortunately the Boomer anticipated this > move. As soon as the missile dropped from its launch rack, the > Boomer fired at the missile Dan: If it's still got autocannon ammo, why not fire rahter than throwing flagpoles? > detonating it just below the right wing. Rick: Uh, hello? Does anyone here really believe that it could fire that quickly and that accurately? > Fortunately the Epsilon Industries designers had prepared > for an accidental missile detonation, Dan: This kind of thing must happen a lot. > and the cockpit was > reinforced along both sides near the missile-wings. Rebecca: Ah, dammit! > Kathy fought to regain control of the Stalker, as it fell from > the sky. Tsuneo: Boy, the weather's really terrible today. > They were spinning towards the ground rather quickly. > Robert grabbed his set of control, helping Kathy to regain control. Dan: Because, of course, she can't manage anything herself. > They managed to stop their descent a few meters from the ground. > The helicopter's wing was amputated, occasional sparks showered > down. Rick: Light rain towards the coast and be on the lookout for falling helicopters. > Robert winced at the damage readout, Dan: And then he realised the damage readout was damaged. > the helicopter had > structural damage and had lost almost half its weapons systems. Tsuneo: And the paint job would never be the same again. > "Jim's gonna be pissed", he thought to himself. Rebecca: Tough shit. > "Kathy, we've got > to head back to the hangar!", Robert called over his shoulder (the > internal communications were out). > Kathy shook her head, "We can abandon Jim, Rick: Now there's an idea I like. Rebecca: That may be a typo, but I like it more this way. > I'm taking us > towards his last position. She pulled up on the collective, Rick: Wow. actual aviation terminology. > urging the wounder chopper up towards the night sky. > The Boomer decided not to waste any more ammo, even in it's > weakened condition the helicopter's armour was still formidable. Rebecca: Even though Jim was worried about the BU-12's widdly 12.7mms in the last chapter. > It turned suddenly at the sound of motorcycle engines. Rick: And motorslaves breaking. > Recognising the Knight Sabres, it's programming took over. Dan: And it went down there to get their autographs. > ****** > DarkWind shuffled towards the window as the Boomer continued > to count down. Rick: This is a mighty long 10 seconds. > He desperately spread his wings, attempting to fly > out the window. A laser beam tore through the membrane on his left > wing, causing him to flop to the ground. > The Boomer picked him up carefully, "You will now come with > me!", it said. Rebecca [Jim]: But you're not my type! > Jim mentally cursed himself for not being quick enough. As > the Boomer's fist impacted into his chest. Tsuneo: First run-ons, now sentence fragments. What's with this guy? > His final thought was > before dropping into unconsciousness was a hope that Kathy never Dan: Got a brain of her own. > runs into one of these things alone. Rebecca: Even though she did better than he did in part one. > ****** > The Boomer was just turning to leave with it's prize Dan: Now the boomer's slinging him over its shoulder. > when a sharp blade cut into it's back. Rebecca [Sylia]: Guess who? > Dropping the prone figure Tsuneo: Ummm... they're only prone when they're lying down. > the > Boomer spun quickly, looking for his assailant. He turned just in > time to receive a point-blank cannon blast from Sylia's arm-cannon. All: WA-TAK! > The Boomer backed away, it's sensors almost useless. Tsuneo: Youngster, your brain is useless I guess. > Shielding > itself the Boomer turned and ran, it's new combat systems refusing > to engage in blind-combat. All: Run away! Run away! > Sylia stood shock still, as the Boomer engaged it's jets and > flew from the building. Rick: Never mind shooting at it or anything. > "Normally it would have stayed to fight", > she thought to herself. She had arrived just in time to see > DarkWind being picked up by the Boomer. Rebecca: And here I thought he wasn't into boomers. > Nene was already back in > the van, she had some bad burns to her shoulder Rebecca: [Mumbles] > and her leg was a > mess. Sylia looked at the body lying before her, Tsuneo: [Sylia] Mackie, better get the spatula. > sighing she moved to pick it up. > Sylia jumped back as it melted, this time there was no > spectacular shimmer, Rick: I wonder why not? Dan: Special effects department was on strike. > the body seemed to collapse back on itself. > After a moment she was standing over the body of a young man, she > recognised him as the same one as she had followed a few weeks > back. Rick: You mean the one who wanted a meeting with, quote "the people who followed him?" > He was lying naked on the floor, Rebecca [Sylia]: Oooh! Tsuneo: *That's* why his clothes ripped this time. > there were burns on his > back and his leg was twisted at an odd angle. Dan: [Grinning] That looks permanent. > Sylia blushed slightly Rick: And there is no way that is Sylia. > as she wrapped him up in a tablecloth, cradling him under > one arm, Tsuneo: That is one mighty huge arm. > she turned and hurried back to the van. > ****** > Priss and Linna sighed in relief as Tsuneo: The fic ended? Voice: Not yet. > they switched off their > bikes, the combat cycles had taken quite a bit of damage in their > fight with the BU-12. Rick: Armed as it was with a run on sentence. Rebecca: Amazing. Priss's motorslave is still there.. > Priss took off her helmet and shook out her sweaty hair, "God, > I didn't think that thing would ever die", she commented to Linna. Dan: You're one to talk. > Linna nodded, "It was certainly persistent", she agreed. Rick: They wouldn't shut up and go away. > "I still can't work out why they're self-destructing like > that", Priss said in frustration. Tsuneo: On the brink of system shutdown, the complete works of Brett Handy gets downloaded directly into its brain. > The two Boomers that they had > fought tonight had both dissolved in the same way, leaving no > dangerous corrosives and no trace of the Boomer itself. Dan: You mean apart from that messy puddle he mentioned earlier? > Looking around they were suddenly aware that no-one was in the > hanger area to meet them. "Where the hell is everyone?", Rick: I hear Hawaii's nice this time of year. > Priss > said in a peeved voice. She noticed the command van was back in > it's parking spot, so the others had to be here somewhere. > The two had just finished getting out of their suits when > Mackie appeared. Rebecca: That's right, he waits until they're undressed before showing up. Dan: well, this *is* Mackie. Rick: Yeah, not Makoto. Tsuneo: Okay, leave it out. > "Where have you been", he said, almost seeming angry. > Priss looked at him thoughtfully, Rebecca: Thus proving it wasn't Priss. Rick: Hey, is it just me, or is Priss the only one who's Brett clone hasn't gotten dumber? Dan: I'm not sure how to take that one. > "What's wrong with you?", she asked. Tsuneo: [Mackie] I'm caught in a crappy self-insertion fic with moronic clones of my friends! Rick: [Mackie] I've been replaced by weenieman from El Hazard! > He grunted Rebecca: [Mackie] Ugh. Me horny. Dan: Not yet, but they'll be reduced to that pretty soon. > and motioned them to follow him. Linna looked > across at Priss and shrugged, they both followed Mackie upstairs. Tsuneo: Why doesn't he tell them down there? Dan: And why doesn't he let them get dressed first? Rebecca: It *is* Mackie! > Mackie led them to the infirmary, the two gasped as they saw Rick: How old and wrinkled Gates McFadden had become in the last two movies. > Nene > lying on one of the beds. "What happened?", Linna asked quietly. > Mackie explained that Nene had tried to take on a C-55 by > herself and had got trashed. Dan: [Priss] So, what else is new? > "DAMN!", Priss snarled, punching the door in frustration. Rebecca: Hey, what did that thing ever do to you? > Linna shook her head, "Poor Nene, we > shouldn't have left her alone", she said. Rebecca: [Linna] With Mackie. > "You did the right thing", said Sylia, coming down the > hallway, "No solo actions, remember?". Dan: [Sylia] Hint, hint, Priss. > Priss grunted, "Look where that got us", she complained. Rick: [Sylia] Yes, Priss. Look where solo actions get us. > Sylia frowned slightly, "We also have another guest", she > said. Tsuneo: Who? Takei? Dan: Burt van Millet? > Priss and Linna looked at each other, "Oh.. Who?", Linna asked > quickly. Tsuneo: As if you couldn't guess. > "He saved Nene from the C-55", Mackie explained, motioning > them to the other room. > "JIM!", Linna and Priss said together in shock, looking at the > figure sleeping in the bed. Dan: The man who manages to miraculously appear wherever you go. Rick: Um, speaking of which, what happened to the Griffon? [Long pause] Rebecca: Good point. Tsuneo: I guess he decided *his* story ideas were better. Rick: And while we're at it, where's Irene? Does she vanish off into a vacuum after authours save her, or what? > ****** > Kathy landed the helicopter carefully in the parking lot of > the Hilton. Rick: You know, there's valets to do that for you. > Motioning Robert to remain in the chopper, Rebecca: Sit! Stay! Good boy. Dan: No, they get up to that later. > she jumped > quickly down to the pavement. She ran quickly up the stairs > towards the restaurant, carefully she stepped into the restaurant, Rick: Barging past the maitre d'. Tsuneo: And the run-on sentences > looking around at the overturned tables and laser burns on the > walls. Rick: Man, someone really didn't like the decor in here. > She walked forward, looking around the room for some sign > of the enemy (or Jim). > She crossed the room to where one of the windows had been > smashed outwards. Looking around she saw burn marks from some kind > of jet exhaust and some hydraulic fluid on the floor. Rebecca: [Kathy] Now could it be that there was a boomer here? > She turned > to walk from the room, when a small glint of metal caught her eye, > it was lying not far from the window. Dan: [Kathy] Ooh! Shiny thing! > She reached down and picked > up the tiny disc. It was Jim's communicator. "The only way for > this to come out is if Jim was unconscious long enough to loose his > form", Kathy thought. Tsuneo: Or he wanted to get rid of it. Rick: Why would he do that? Tsuneo: So Kathy couldn't follow him around. > She looked around the room again, seeing no sign of Jim's body Dan: Like she would have missed any before? > she quickly headed back to the helicopter. Rick: Pardon me, but shouldn't this hotel be jam packed with guests, staff, security, police or something like that? Rebecca: Yeah, probably. Rick: So no-one's going to notice a seven-foot tall golden haired monster wander in and out again? Dan: Aparently not. Rick: Or the huge black helicopter in the car park? Tsuneo: They probably should. Rick: And everyone's okay with this? Rebecca: No. We've just stopped thinking. Rick: Sounds like a good idea. > Robert glanced back over his shoulder at her, "Anything?", he > asked. Tsuneo: [Kathy] Just busy proving everything the riffers have been saying about my intelligence. > Kathy held up the communicator. Robert frowned, "That means > he's unconscious", he said. > Kathy looked at him sadly, "Or dead", she added quietly. All: [cheer wildly] > The Stalker lifted slowly into the sky, shuddering slightly, > its broken wing trailing smoke. Kathy turned the helicopter back > towards the hidden hanger, Rick: Speaking of which, isn't anyone going to notice this huge, black, *heavily armed* helicopter flying around and try to follow it? > her thoughts as dark as the night sky. All: Oooh. Tsuneo: Given all the neon lighting, that ain't too dark. > ****** > Nene blinked, her eye's adjusting to the bright morning light. Tsuneo: Okay, what about the other one? > "What a nightmare", she thought, Rebecca: [Nene] And you were there, and you, and this big guy with black wings... > then she looked around, realising that she was Tsuneo: Still in the fic. > in the infirmary. > Nene sat up painfully, her shoulder was sore but the pain was > bearable. "So your finally awake?", came Mackie's voice. Rick: [Nene] No, I'm sleepwalking. > Nene nodded tiredly, picking up a glass of water that was on > a side-table. She drank the water down, and then turn to Mackie. Dan: Aah! Nene's a shapeshifter! Tsuneo: No, that's just a typo... I hope. > "How long have I been here", she asked. > Mackie put down the manual he was reading Rebecca: And to his dying breath he'd swear that's what it was. > and looked at her > closely, "It's been three days since the fight", he said, "We were > starting to worry about you". Dan: Only now? What about the last two days? > Nene frowned, "Why would you worry, I've only got a few > scratches", she said. Rick: Yeah! This is BGShift, where a shoulder hit is nothing! > Mackie looked her straight in the eye, "Your leg was pretty > bad, you needed surgery", he said quietly. Tsuneo: [Mackie] Which is why we dragged you home rather than taking you to a hospital. > Nene looked down at her leg in shock, it was in a cast. "Am > I going to be alright?", she asked in a small voice. Tsuneo: Unfortunately, yes. > A voice from the doorway interrupted their conversation, "Of > course you are", said an exasperated Priss. Rebecca: [Priss] Despite my best efforts. > Nene smiled slightly, "Oh, that's right, You're the one that's > experienced in getting wounded", she said tartly. Dan: Hissy fit! Hissy fit! > Priss grinned and walked into the room, Linna and Sylia > followed her in. "Glad to see your awake", Tsuneo: [Linna] But my awake's still better. > said Linna, "We all > know how much you like to sleep in, but it was getting ridiculous". All: Ha ha hahaha. Rebecca: Kill her. > Nene's smile widened, Rick: Any wider and the top of her head'll fall off. > "I think I've slept enough", she said. > She carefully swung her legs off the bed and sat up. Tsuneo: She was already sitting up, but never mind. > Carefully > testing her body she gingerly rose to her feet, using the crutches > beside her bed. Everyone looked at her strangely, "What, you think > I'm going to lie there for another three days?", she asked. Dan: Why not? It wouldn't be your record. > Linna looked accusingly at Priss, "You've been rubbing off on > her I see", she commented. Rebecca: [Linna] Again! Stop leaving me out of the action! Dan: [Sylia] God dammit, you could at least wait until she wakes up! [Rick and Tsuneo sit stunned] Tsuneo: I can't believe you just said that! Dan: I can't bleieve *I* just said that! > Priss shrugged, "Hey, don't blame me...", she began. Rebecca: [Priss] She was the one that got me pissed. > Mackie stood, picking up his manual, "Well if your all in > here, Dan: [Mackie] I'd better keep watching, in case something interesting happens. Tsuneo: What's wrong with you today? Dan: [Shrugs] If you can't beat 'em... > I'd better go and keep an eye on our other guest", he said, > walking from the room. Rick: And there's the pitch... > "Other guest??", Nene asked curiously. Tsuneo: Which one? Rebecca: As if we couldn't guess. > Sylia nodded, "Lets go and get some breakfast and I'll > explain", she said. > Nene noticed that she *was* feeling rather hungry, Dan: Lying in bed for three days kinda does that. Rick: Nene's *always* hungry! > so she let her friends help her up to Sylia's living area. > ****** > Nene was gulping down her third muffin with honey, Dan: But that's getting a bit carried away. > as she listened to Sylia explain about their houseguest. Rick: [Sylia] He leaves his laundry lying around everywhere, never pays the rent on time... Rebecca: [Sylia] Oh, yeah, and it's Nene's turn to drool all over him today. > The four women > were sitting around Sylia's dinner table, a dishevelled Dr Raven Dan: Talk about the department of redundancy department. > was hunched over a computer terminal in the next room. Dan: And what's he doing here anyway? Rebecca: Getting his appearance fee. > "We don't know very much, Rebecca: No, you don't do you? > only that his genetic structure is > radically different to ours", Sylia concluded Rick: [Sylia] On the other hand, it could just be another pair of Priss' socks. > "Is he even human?", Linna asked of no-one in particular. Tsuneo: That one's just too easy. > "I don't think so, Dan: You won't get any arguments there. > he resembles a human male, Rebecca: Sylia said with an immense smirk on her face. Rick: [Sylia] But no-one's that poorly- [Dan whacks him with a cushion.] > but I'd have to > say that he's a totally different species", All: Naw! > called Dr Raven, who was busily studying the data on their guest. Tsuneo: [Dr. Raven] My god, his page is full of crappy fics. > "I thought that you only dealt with machines, pops", commented > Priss. Rebecca: No, *she* only deals with machines. Dan: [Whacks Rebecca repeatedly with a cushion] That's enough outta you! > "The human body is a machine, it just uses different fuel than > a motorbike", Tsuneo: And it's squishier, built differently, hard to put back together when it's broken and doesn't have tyres. > he retorted. "And call me 'Doctor'", he added after > a moments thought. > "Why did he save me?", Nene mumbled around a large mouthful of > bacon. Dan: Because he wants to steal you from Bert. Rick: Whoah, she can really pack it away. > Sylia shook her head, "I don't know, hopefully he'll tell us > when he wakes up", she said. Rick: [Sylia] And pay his bills! I'm not running a charity here. > Nene winced remembering the descriptions of his injuries, > laser burns to a good portion of his body, and multiple fractures to > his legs and a serious concussion. Rebecca: As well as groin strain and a really sore left arm. > She shook her head, "Well > whatever his reasons I'm glad he did", she said quietly. Rick: But we're not. > Priss nodded, "Yeah, that Boomer was ready to toast you", she > agreed. Dan: Do you want your Nene lightly grilled or well done? > "That's something I meant to ask", Nene said, suddenly > remembering the Boomer's strange behaviour, "Why was that Boomer > acting so strange". Tsuneo: He went to NIDA. > The three other Knight Sabres looked at each other, "We have > no idea", said Sylia. Rebecca: You guys don't know much, do you? > ****** > "I'm telling you, those Boomers were acting strange", Rebecca: This is, of course, coming from the guy whose partner is Daley. > shouted Leon. Rick: Whoah! Not so loud, dude. > He was standing in front of the chief's desk, his hands on his hips. > "File a report", suggested the chief, Dan: Yes, that *is* standard procedure. > also shouting, "Get the hell out of here, Rebecca: Please? > you've got better things to do than try 'Boomer Psychology', Tsuneo: No, they've got a department for that. > just get back to work". > Leon slammed the door on his way out. The chief never > listened to a thing he said. Rick: And I'm sure that's mutual. Dan: Apart from half the series, but never mind. > That Boomer the other night acted in > a totally different way than any other he had witnessed. Rick: The pink tutu and the ballet shoes were a worrying sign. > Firstly > when he had arrived, the Boomer was searching for something > specific. Tsuneo: [Boomer] Can you give me a hand here? I've lost my contacts. > Secondly, when that helicopter arrived it had retreated > and taken cover in the mall. Dan: Isn't that the kind of thing that *military* boomer programming would normally cover? > Now Leon had many years of experience with the ADP, Rick: Before joining, I might add. > he had fought all kinds of Boomers, Rebecca: And slept with several others. Dan: Well, this *is* Leon. > but not once had he ever seen a Boomer run and take cover. Dan: Man, where have you been? > He had seen Boomers retreat, running from a superior force, Tsuneo: I presume then that's not from the ADP. > but taking cover and using > the buildings to get an advantage over an airborne opponent, > *never*. Rebecca: well, given that the airborne opponents they usually face are those damned ADP Fire-Bees... > Leon slumped at his desk, crawling through a mountain of > paperwork. Rick: Event 48 in the red tape olympics: The paperwork mountain- climbing. > He glanced over to Nene's empty desk. The poor girl > had taken a bad fall off her scooter and Dan: You believed that? Rick: It's probably Nene's standard excuse. That scooter of hers must have more scars than Priss. > hurt her leg. He was > wondering if he should drop around after work, when Nene stumbled > into the office! > Everyone looked up in surprise, Nene was walking with the aid > of crutches. Tsuneo: I don't see why they're so surprised. It ususally happens after you've broken your leg. > Leon grinned and helped her into her seat. "Good to > see you", he said sincerely. Rick: [Leon] And not that new blonde ditz they've got in. Tsuneo: Let it go, man. Let it go. > Nene smiled at him, "Good to *be* seen", she said. Rebecca: [Nene] Buy my videos, please! > Everyone crowded around her desk, asking if she was alright > and what had happened. Dan: [Nene] I fell off my scooter. Didn't I already tell you? > Everyone was enjoying themselves, Rick: Man, this is meant to be an offic. You're not allowed to enjoy yourselves! Rebecca: And it isn't even the christmas party. > until a > bellow echoed from the Chief's office, "Your suppose to be police > officers, not a bloody chat group!", he screamed. Dan: Aaahhh... I miss Todo. > Everyone > disappeared as the Chief walked over to Nene's desk. Nene looked > at him uncertainly, "Good to see you back", he said quietly, before > he retreated back into his office. Rebecca: [Todo] My office, five miutes. Rick: [Todo] You're gonna fry, girl. > Leon was about to leave for his own desk when Nene touched his > arm lightly, "Where's Kathy?", she asked. Dan: She probably bashed her head against the door trying to open it and knocked herself out. > Leon sighed, "She's taken some time off", Tsuneo: She's lost in her wardrobe. Rick: Does she have a walk-in? Tsuneo: No. > he explained, "She > says that a friend of her's has gone missing and she wanted some > time to go and look for him". Rick: So why not tell the police? She is supposedly a police officer, right? Rebecca: Kathy needs to be told to tie her shoes in the morining. > Nene nodded, "I'll drop by her place on my way home then", she > said. Leon jumped off her desk, Dan: BUNGEE! > "Well, I've got work to do, Rick: Now that's just not Leon. > I'll see you later", she said. > Nene frowned thoughtfully, "I wonder how much Kathy knows", he > mused. All: Not much! > ****** > Mackie looked up from the game he was playing on his terminal. Dan: Knowing Mackie, it's Tomb Raider. > "Did he just move", he thought, Rebewcca: No, he just hasn't been breathing for the last few days. > studying his patient carefully. He > stood and walked over to the bed. He blink in surprise as the man > groaned loudly. Tsuneo: My god! The grammar's just slipped down *another* notch! > Mackie picked up the phone, "Sis, I think he's waking up", he > said. Rick: [Phone voice] Yeah, very nice, but this is the pizza parlour. > A few minutes later Sylia and Priss walked into the room. Rebecca: Adjusting their clothes. Dan: [Priss] No, I think you've got my bra. > Mackie had resumed his seat and was watching Rick: Lara's ass wobble. > their patient closely. > Priss walked over to the bed, examining the man closely, he looked > a lot better than the last time she was here. Tsuneo: Priss, that's why he's resting here. > He groaned again, rolling over slightly. Dan: [Jim, mumbled] Was it good for you too? > Sylia tapped his face slightly, "Hey, come on Jim, wake up", Rebecca: [Sylia] Time for your herbal enema. > she said quietly, using the name that Priss and Linna had given her. Rick: What? Asshole? > Jim's eyes flew open almost as soon as she touched him, and he > moved to sit up. "No, don't try to move yet, you've been > unconscious for almost a week", she said, holding him down. Tsuneo: Not that it stops any of them. > He looked at her carefully, "Who are you??", he said quickly, > almost in a panic. Rick: The Demon God Ifurita! [They all throw cushions at him.] Dan: Kasumi! > Sylia smiled slightly, "I'm a friend, you were badly hurt", > she said. Rebecca: That sounds about as believable as "I'm from the government, I'm here to help you." > He frowned, "If your my friend?", Rick: [Jim] Why are you pointing that gun at me? > he said cautiously, at a nod > from her he continued, "can you tell me who *I* am?", he asked > desperately. All: Aaaaak! Dan: That's the lamest one I've heard! It even leaves "My navigation systems are damaged" as an excuse to hang around at Sylias! > ****** > Author's Notes: Tsuneo: [Authour] This fic sucks. > That's another part finished... Rick: [Authour] Wheather you like it or not. > I'd have to say I'm enjoying writing this one, Rebecca: With one hand, obviously. Dan: Well we're not enjoying reading it. > BGC is much closer to the technology level that > DarkWind (as an RPG character) was designed for. I hope I'm > getting the BGC characters correct - my pre-readers all seem to > think so. All: [Break out laughing] Tsuneo: Who was his review group? Rick: His pet cat, his dead aunt, and his invisible magical sock puppet, Mr. Thunderwing. Dan: Where did that one come from? Rick: [Shrugs] > One thing you might notice is that I'm writing Nene a > bit differently than normal in this part. Dan: She's not the only one. > She is also going to change slightly in the future - Rick: She'll get a hair cut and dye it blonde. Dan: One more from you, and I'll fling you out the window! Rick: I'll be good. > comes from almost dying, I'm taking > the approach that when faced with death, Nene will Rebecca: Pee her pants in terror and whimper. Dan: Close. > take a look at > her life and decide that she's been taking things too easy (letting > the other KS do the fighting for her, etc). Tsuneo: Eh? He assumes that this is going to happen after this crap rather than, say, after fighting a 55C solo? > There are probably > other results that she could take (ie: getting really scared, not > wanting to be a KS any more.. etc), but I feel that she's been > scared so long of Boomers (look at how she fights), that she's > ready to actually take control of her own safety. Rick: That's got nothing to do with being scared. That's because she's a pathetic little wimp. > Ok well everyone has different opinions, so here's mine > (Thanks go to SkyKnight Dan: SkyKnight? That explains a lot. Rick: Eh? Dan: Bert Van Millet. BGC SI. Built a super hardsuit, saved Irene, Sho's mother, Sylvie... And wound up with Nene. Rick: Nene? That's kinda sad, actually. Rebecca: It does explain a lot though. Dan: Did I mention that his fics inspired "Tales Of The Red Knight Saber" and "Esper Chronicles?" Tsuneo: Shut up. > for our chat about peoples reactions to danger/death), Tsuneo: Ie: Scream and wait for the self-insertion to save them. > everyone has different opinions of the characters - > don't get upset if mine differ from yours Dan: Or those of the original creators. > (don't worry too much, Nene will *NOT* become a ruthless Boomer killer - Rick: The Pink Avenger! > but she *will* take more responsibility in fights). > Again I invite everyone who wants to comment, mail me at the > address below..... Tsuneo: Note that he doesn't actually include his e-mail adress. Dan: Ah, damn. > Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Rebecca: You're obviously a masochist, mate. > -----Brett Handy (aka: DarkWind) [The TV switches off] Dan: Ugh... Rick: Well that whole experience totally sucked ass. Rebecca: Do we do our reviews now? Voice: Wait until after part four. Tsuneo: There's more of this garbage? Voice: Don't worry. Part four is the shortest of them all. Dan: It's still scary. [They all stand up and stretch] Rebecca: Man, that was a long one. Rick: And pointless. I mean, it could have been so much shorter. Rebecca: Yeah. Why couldn't Koopa written it instead? Tsuneo: Hey, if Koopa wrote a self-insertion, would you notice? Dan: Aack! I just had a scary thought. Rebecca: What? Dan: With the new BGC series, there's a whole load of potential new fanboy's who've never seen BGC. Rick: And, considering it's got good-looking girls featuring prominently... [Long pause] Tsuneo: Oh my god. A whole new breed of BGC self-insertion. Rebecca: That is just too scary to think about. Rick: Come on, let's get outta here. I want to see it when the new Knight Sabres meet their counterparts in the club. Rebecca: [Grins] Now that could be fun. [They all leave. The screen goes black.] Voice: A whole new breed... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Dan and Tsuneo are copyright 1995-1998 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-1998 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Jinas' world: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/index.htm RPG info, amateur fanfics, MSTing site and official Bubblegum Crossfire material. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Linna looked accusingly at Priss, "You've been rubbing off on > her I see", she commented.